Discernment Counseling is its own unique process in the world of couples therapy. Discernment Counseling is for couples where one partner is truly leaning out of the relationship, and is not sure what to do. Couples counseling feels like way too much, and yet separation feels daunting as well.
Discernment Counseling is short. It is 1-5 sessions with the goal being clarity on what path to take. In Discernment Counseling, we will split the 80 minute session in half and I meet with one partner for the first half and the other for the second half. You have a little more space and privacy to process your thoughts. I help the leaning out partner look clearly at their experience and what they want, and I help the leaning in partner hold steady during a very anxious time of waiting to know what their partner will choose. At the end of each session, you both weigh in on if you want another session.
What people don't like about Discernment Counseling:
- It does not fix the problems you both have, the goal at this stage is clarity and not repair
- It does not create a dialogue between the two of you, it is more for individual exploration and support
What people do like about Discernment Counseling:
- It honors the leaning out partner, and doesn't immediately put them in the deep end of the pool of couples therapy, which by its nature is asking each partner to show up and put in hard work for the relationship
- It offers a highly-structured process during a time where everything feels like a confusing mess